Losing Weight May Not Improve Your Self Image

Losing Weight May Not Improve Your Self-Image

By

Michele Benza

Surprised? Well, I am here to set the record straight! A few months ago I was an invited guest on The Eating Free Internet Talk Radio show (http://tinyurl.com/44uvquh). Together with hosts Manuel and Sarah, we have given the matter much discussion, and we have come to the conclusion that losing weight may not improve self-image.

Think about it: how many people embark on a weight loss journey hoping to boost their self-image? And how many reach their goals only to find that they still have the same beliefs about their image and self-worth? So what is a person to do? Psychotherapist Jeff Benson explains the psychological component of self-image and what you can do to boost yours.

He says that the main reason why most overweight people want to loose the weight is because they want to improve their self-image. However, many of those who have dropped the weight and decreased their clothes size, sometimes even by several sizes, still have a difficult time improving their self-image.  Why? Because the mindset does not match the body. 

After the weight loss and the drop in sizes they sometimes still see a ‘heavy’ person in the mirror although they are now thin. People that have lost the weight are sometimes disconnected with reality. Where is it coming from? Perhaps during childhood, they may have adopted inaccurate ideas and perceptions from family and friends, and therefore they think that is what they still are ‘a fat kid.’ This belief will stay with them even after the weight loss and all the hard work it takes to attain their new figure. They think that way because inside they still believe they are fat even after they have lost the weight. This is what’s called ‘self-image’ and this self-image reflects on their self-esteem.

To take action and change the perception that they have of themselves, they need to shift their thinking. Benson encourages us to modify these beliefs with the following steps:

Read self-help books

Be pro-active and notice negative thoughts, and change thinking

Draw a picture of yourself before and after the weight loss

Draw a picture of how you believe people see you now

Use mantras all over the house: ‘I have lost that many pounds’

Display pictures of yourself before and after the weight loss

These tips will help you to shift your thinking because after all, it is not what the scale says, but it is about what their mind tells you.

Once the self-image has been improved and you can see yourself for who you really are, your self-esteem and self-image will increase as well.

When the psychological aspect of the weight loss is resolved it becomes easy to update your physical appearance. Trying on new clothes is invigorating and exciting. A new color or style in your wardrobe is an adventure, and your favorites are not the clothes that make you feel “comfortable” but the ones that you truly feel beautiful in. 

My first recommendation to someone who has lost weight and thus dropped in sizes is to do a clean out of the wardrobe and get rid of the pieces that have become too large. Keeping the ‘large’ outfits is an open invitation for pounds to return. Getting rid of the ‘large’ outfits is an enticement to continue the discipline of loosing weight.

When the ‘fat’ kid who is now the ‘slim’ kid will wear well-fitted, appropriate clothing, I can assure you that the self-worth will take a huge step forward.

I have said many times before and will repeat it again: No matter what the scale says, no matter the size tag in our garments, we are all beautiful. We all have great features that begged to be enhanced; we all have flaws that need to be camouflaged. At that is what image coaching can do for you.

A la prochaine,

Michele Benza

Your Personal Image Coach

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Michele Benza: Fresh-faced. The New Cosmetic Trend

Michele Benza: Fresh-faced. The New Cosmetic Trend: "Fresh-faced as The New Cosmetic Trend By Michele Benza Makeup should highlight the features and expose the inner beauty of women . Ma..."

Fresh-faced. The New Cosmetic Trend

Fresh-faced as The New Cosmetic Trend

By

Michele Benza

Makeup should highlight the features and expose the inner beauty of women .

Makeup, used properly, has the amazing power to make it possible to refine the face and to bring it closer to the achievement of ideal beauty.

At all times women, and some men, have sought to show their face at the best angle and in the best light. Now tricks and gimmicks are used to attain the goal of ultimate beauty with relative ease.

Women wear makeup to be more feminine and to be more attractive to others. Playing with makeup gives them a chance to express their creativity and highlight their beauty. Cleopatra's lipsticks were made from finely crushed carmine beetles, and Queen Elizabeth I became one of Britain's most celebrated users of natural beauty lotions.

A couple of years ago, Elle France published Stars Sans Fards (Stars Without Makeup). It was so refreshing to see these celebrities sans maquillage (without makeup), after all, they are ordinary women who must deal with the everyday routine just like we do. It can be shocking to see these celebrities in “bare faces” because when we usually see them in magazines and on the screens they are so heavily made-up.

This brings me to realize that there is a healthy in-between somewhere between being made-up and a fresh-faced, no-makeup, makeup look. I love those days when I wear just enough makeup to hide my flaws but still look attractive to others. I love it when people notice the beauty of my face and luster of my skin before the shade of my shadow, blush or lipstick. These are my no make-up makeup days. (Not to be confused with being truly bare-faced).

The most popular of all the makeup should undoubtedly be a natural style. The fresh-faced makeup look emphasizes the best natural facial features while not looking made up. It is the most versatile, and suitable for any outfit and the most flattering for almost every face.

I like to remind my clients that our face is the most important part of our body and should never be neglected. We can hide our legs, arms, hands and hair but the face we cannot (in our culture). Therefore, we must make sure that our skin is as flawless and attractive as possible.

How to achieve the fresh-faced makeup look.
A fresh-faced make up is almost invisible and should take only a few minutes to apply:
Apply a tinted day cream or very light foundation. If necessary, apply some corrections on dark circles and imperfections. Just enough mascara, of a natural color on the lashes will highlight a natural look. A little blush on the cheekbones, and en final the ultimate essential feminine gesture: touch of color on the lips.

Unless you are a makeup addict, there is no need to have a drawer full of unused makeup products. Cosmetic products have a shelf life longer than some years ago because of the preservatives added however; it should be sorted out from time to time to avoid having a skin reaction. Remember, that additional time spent rummaging through unused products, only adds to the duration of your morning routine. Do yourself a favor and purge the cosmetic cabinet frequently.

Remember, always remain faithful to your maquillage and like in fashion have fun with the trends.

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A la prochaine,

Michele
Your Personal Image Coach/Fashion Stylist.

Michele Benza: YOU ARE FASHION. EXPRESS YOUR TASTE & STYLE!

Michele Benza: YOU ARE FASHION. EXPRESS YOUR TASTE & STYLE!: "Did you know that fashion does not happen in the magazines and retail stores? Fashion designers are just pushing us gently toward new..."

YOU ARE FASHION. EXPRESS YOUR TASTE & STYLE!

Did you know that fashion does not happen in the magazines and retail stores? Fashion designers are just pushing us gently toward new ideas?

Your Fashion Guru is…..YOU!

Your fashion guru is you. Your favorite model is you again. Your favorite runway is just down your street. There is no need to place famous designers on a pedestal. Remember, they take their cues for design from women like us from all over the world, and only seek to add new style to fashions they are already seeing.

Don’t tell me otherwise….we, the women of every background, lifestyle and income levels are fashion’s bellwether!

We adopt trends daily, and we adapt them to our curves, our personal tastes and personalities. How boring would it be if we all copied the designer’s outfits without adding our personal touch?

Talented marketers pressure us with beautiful full-page advertisements in deluxe magazines, but as smart women we look at the new trends and re-configure what’s best for us. We create our own fashion.

Fashion is an eternal playground where exploration is the key word. 

Create Your Own Fashion Style

Juggling one trend to another is not easy. Between different seasons and styles, the choices pose permanent challenges. In 2011, magazines have nominated the long skirt and sandals queens of the summer, really? Long skirts and sandals are great for weekends and night outs but what during the day?

From minimalist chic and preppy style, our neurons do not know where to turn when it comes to choosing a place in our closets. Fortunately spring has arrived and anything goes! So put away the serious minimalist pieces from last winter and let out the fun side of your wardrobe.

For me oranges, reds and yellows will be my colors for the coming warm days. These three colors united will warm up my silhouette and light up my skin tone.  BTW I just found a great orange boat-neck three-quarter sleeve top that I know will be the highlight of my summer wardrobe. And surprise! The day I purchased the top, I saw a French female newscaster (on TV5) wearing the exact same top! Yes, Yes, Yes! And like Yves Saint Laurent said:  “Don’t hesitate to associate reds and oranges.”

For those of you who prefer cold hues, think Mediterranean seas. Visualize deep blue waters, blue skies, and green topazes from the depth of seas.  Advice: mix with denim pieces, but don’t forget to break up the blue tones with colorful accessories.

Top 5 Items for the Perfect Spring/Summer Style

Fashion is not that complicated.

In my opinion, five items will be sufficient to create your Spring/Summer  2011 signature style: a pretty dress, a colorful jacket, espadrille wedges, a leather bag and sunglasses.

If you have always dreamed about the ballerina flats, but have never practiced ballet; don’t worry. Since the release of Black Swan, the shoe designers have jumped on the opportunity to highlight the flats too.

I know it is easy to say that fashion is not complicated and we all know that fashion is a breeze at twenty, but past thirty, it should become a lifestyle. Fashion goes, style stays.

Dress as your own representative, express you own taste and style and go take on the streets, your own runway.

Mr. Karl Lagerfeld was asked what it means to be “fashionable?” After a silent period he replied “Vous savez, être a la mode ou pas a la mode, quelle importance?” (“You know, in fashion, out of fashion, who cares?”) 

On this final note: Au revoir et a la prochaine!

Michèle

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