Are We Image Obsessed?

  The mirror, it seems, has become our worst enemy rather than our best

   friend. Research indicates that at least 80% of women over 18 are

   unhappy with what they see. The main focus of dissatisfaction is the

   size and shape of their bodies, particularly their hips, waists and

   thighs.

   This has led me to think about this matter and air my views in this

   newsletter.

   It does not help that we cannot watch TV, pass billboards, or read

   magazines and newspapers without seeing slender, beautiful people. So

   much so, that we are subconsciously brainwashed into believing this is

   the norm and that we should look like these people too.

   To make matters worse, the majority of celebrities, females in

   particular, almost always look perfect. Not a hair out of place, not a

   wrinkle to be seen and breasts and bottoms fixed where they should be

   rather than heading south, as they tend to do in the rest of us.

   Does this create a negative or positive impact on us ordinary mortals?

   Are we able to differentiate the star from the individual? Are we

   envious?

   It seems so, when you examine the statistics. According to the American

   Society of Plastic Surgeons’ (ASPS), 2011 Statistical Report, there

   were, 307,000 breast augmentations, 182,000 nose reshapings and 182,000

   liposuctions among other cosmetic procedures.

   In 2010, almost 219,000 plastic surgery procedures were performed on

   13-to-19-year-olds. Teens rely on the knife to correct ill-shaped

   noses, protruding ears, too large or too small breasts, too big or too

   flat butts, and so on. Young Asian women go as far as having plastic

   surgery to westernize their appearance.

   Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against plastic surgery. Especially

   for adults who take the time to do in-depth research about their

   surgeon’s history and professionalism and the consequences of their

   proposed surgery.

   To what extent is all this related to our actual physical defects

   rather than the perception of our physical defects? We all have

   imperfections. But the issue is that we believe our defects stand out

   and everybody immediately notices them. Not true. The sad thing is that

   we are our harshest critics.

   How much is the media to blame? In my opinion, a lot. It is the media

   that creates and continues to magnify and exploit the celebrity

   syndrome. Thanks to the media, we have become accustomed to extremely

   rigid and uniform standards of beauty.

   These high standards are simply unrealistic and out of our reach. The

   truth of the matter is that the current median ideal of slenderness for

   women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population.

   Most of us cannot afford to have a personal make-up artist, hair and

   fashion stylist, yoga teacher or Pilates instructor. If we could, we

   too would look fabulous every time we walked out the front door.

   So what to do? Make the mirror your friend! Accept your body for what

   it is, zoom in on what is good and make the most of it.

   A Bientôt,

   Michèle

High High High Heels!

What are the fashion designers doing to us?

Shoes appear to have replaced bags as the driving force in the fashion accessories department and extreme stiletto heels are the fashion statement of the season.

I have a love-hate relationship with stilettos. I love them because they make women look sexy and powerful. I hate them because I can’t wear them as often as I wish and that makes me feel nostalgic.

They certainly enhance our legs and help make us look slender and taller. And as we all know, they seem to impact men’s libido and elicit many more compliments from the male of the species.

However, these perilously high heels make it hard to walk with ease and without breaking an ankle. Even the professional models find these stilt-like heels difficult as evidenced at the recent fashion shows.



But as treacherous as the current crop of stilettos may be, retailers claim they remain a much sought after fashion staple.

Fortunately, as always happens in the rarified world of high fashion, the extreme styles on the catwalk will be somewhat watered down by the time they reach the retail floors. Like the mini-dresses seen on the runways, these same dresses will have longer hems to make them more appealing to the public at large and thereby increase retail sales. Money rules!

With all of this said, don’t write off the sky-high heels entirely. To be sure, it requires effort to wear them. And those extreme heels with ankle cuffs can make us look strong and authoritative. However, if you choose to wear them, be sure to wear them with a simple dress.

Here are some more pointers to guide you if you decide to splurge on this extravagant trend. (Remember though, heels do not need to be long and thin to be considered fashionable.)

• Buy the proper size. I so often see women wearing high- heeled shoes that are too big. There should be no space between the heel of the foot and the shoe.

• Be aware that when wearing hosiery, the foot will easily slide out of the shoe and very likely lead to a fall or twisted ankle.

• No matter how high the shoe, take extra caution to keep your balance. A graceful or sexy shoe is pointless if it causes pain or makes you walk in an ungainly manner, or worse, makes you fall.

• Practice at home before venturing out in your heightened state!

• Wearing high heels is all about femininity. When you walk in these heels think about a giraffe, not an elephant. Stand tall and upright. Elongate the waist, relax and rotate the shoulders towards the back and drop them down. This will open up your chest and help lengthen your neck. Make sure the chin is parallel to the floor.

• Take small steps. Place your heel down first then your sole. Pay attention to your foot alignment. Toes should be pointing straight forward. As you walk be sure your legs are parallel and close together. Try to walk a straight line. And for a more sensual walk, move your hip slightly forward as you take a step. WALK SLOWLY AND GRACEFULLY.

I must confess I have been known to buy a pair or two of super high heels just to own and admire them. Once in a rare while I’ll cautiously wear them in my studio or at parties when I know there is valet parking. And I mean cautiously because a few years ago, I twisted my ankle in a pair of high heels and broke a bone in my right foot! Bummer! Since then I've been wearing mostly flats, which do not match my usual feminine style.

However, I am happy to report that those of us wary of extreme heels will at last be able to find moderately high heels that are attractive and très chic. The latest trend among shoe designers is to make the same shoe available in two, sometimes three, different heights. Prada seems to be the originator of this long-overdue sales trend. Our feet will thank these designers for many years to come.

Ah, I can hear you already saying to me: “Michele, what about cost per wear?” To which I reply: “Aren’t rules made to be broken?”

Viva la femme!
A là prochaine.

Michele

*Work with Michele*
You can work with Michele on-line or face-to-face.
Call or email for an appointment.
You’ll be thrilled with the results.
415.956.3025
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The Dreaded Days of Bathing Suit Shopping

The Dreaded Days of Bathing Suit Shopping

Summer is on our doorstep and for many of us in our fabulous fifties and then some, this is the only time our zeal for shopping wanes. One glance at the tantalizing bathing suits dangling from hangers makes us wince.

We may not share our bathing suit fears with others, but let’s be honest; exposing what we consider our physical flaws to the public is enough to fill us with trepidation as we set off to the beach or the pool.

Take heart! Here are some guidelines to help you select the almost perfect bathing suit for a less than perfect body. But remember, the best way to feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit is to feel comfortable in your own skin even if the years have given up the fight with gravity. Accept your body as it is. Confidence is your best accessory!

And if you need a reminder, look around. We’re all in the same boat so you’re in very good company!

You body type is an ‘8’ or an ‘Hourglass’

Shoulders and hips and a narrow waist make your silhouette perfect. Your shoulders and hips are approximately the same width.

For you everything works and you can indulge your whims. Bikinis and one-piece suits look equally flattering.

This season’s vibrant color trends with maxi motifs and geometric patterns will suit you well.

Your body type is an ‘Inverted Pyramid’

Narrow hips and wide shoulders characterize your silhouette. Since this shape tends to have more masculine lines, you need to feminize it more.

Choose a swimsuit with narrow straps that emphasize your décolleté. The goal here is to draw the eye downward toward the lower part of your body, so your hips appear balanced with your shoulders.

Your body type is ‘Rectangular’

Shoulders and hips are the same width but your waist is not well defined. Your goal is to define your waist and accentuate the curves.

Best for you is a one-piece bathing suit with graphic motifs. If a two-piece bathing suit is your preference, choose one with a triangular lower half so as to break up your rectangular lines. Avoid ‘boy cut’ bottoms.

Your body type is ‘Pyramid’

Shoulders are narrower than the hips so your goal is to place the focus on your shoulders.

Pick a bathing suit with a large wide v-neck or asymmetrical neckline. This will create the illusion that you have broad shoulders and make you look more in proportion.

Absolutely no horizontal lines in the lower area. A ‘pareo’ is your best cover-up and will mask the roundness of your hips.

***

If you have large breasts, select a bathing suit with a built-in bra. A crisscross design is very flattering and will create a minimizing effect. For a large stomach, a bathing suit with a panel across the midriff will help slenderize this area. And if you are uncomfortable showing too much of your thighs your best bet is a swim-dress which provides more coverage.

Beach Bag Check List

Before you leave home, make sure your beach bag contains the following:

• Sun Hat
• Sunscreen
• Beach towel
• Roll up beach mat
• Bath towel
• Hairbrush
• Tissues
• Water
• MP3 player/iPod
• Reading material

Lastly, when in doubt, it’s best to cover more inches than less. A lovely, long flowing beach cover-up will create a graceful entrance to either the pool or on the beach.

Now go out, catch some sun and have fun!
Michele


Work with Michele! You can now work with Michele on-line or face to face. Call or email for an appointment. You’ll be thrilled with the results. Michele Benza, Image Consulting & Posture www.michelebenza.com email: Michele@mbenza.com phone: 415-956-3025 Michele Benza Send your Style questions to me at Michele@mbenza.com. I'd love to hear from you!

FASHION FLASHES FOR THE 2009 SPRING/SUMMER SEASON

We know that many of you are struggling with economic challenges right now but in the words of one of our favorite movie characters, Auntie Mame, “Knowledge is power!” So, here is the scoop on the new Spring fashions. As always, my advice is to buy the best you can afford. If you have to buy less do so, just buy better.

Hot off the Press:
• Michelle Obama’s inaugural suit designed by Isabel Toledo will be available at Barneys in March. $1500.
• Sofia Coppola’s sober and chic shoes and handbags for Louis Vuitton will be available in stores March 9, 2009.
• Calvin Klein’s latest jean campaign was declared “scandalous” by the American television industry and has been censored. (But that has not stopped it being seen on YouTube by millions of people worldwide.) The campaign will run as is in Europe while a softer version is being reworked for the US market.
• Alexander McQueen is the latest designer to team up with Target. He will design a collection that includes leggings, printed T’s and a leather vest.

The spotlight this spring/summer is on Fluidity and Femininity
You know I’m all for that. However, while sifting through all the Spring/Summer collections, I had difficulty finding wearable outfits for us working women. Serene and beautiful as the collections are, I found very few items appropriate for every day office wear.
“Shouldering on shoulders,” is the new term for this season’s focus on the shoulders. This look emphasizes the shoulders à la the eighties but less dramatically and with more refinement. I noticed embroidery and embellishments around necklines to emphasize the shoulders. The same effect can be attained with chunky bold necklaces. I must admit that at first I didn’t like the structured shoulders but I’ve changed my mind and now find them empowering.

Max Mara hemlines are being accentuated too. Skirts are longer and reminiscent of Christian Dior’s look launched in 1947. My preference is a length that just covers the knee. This skirt length works well with straight skirts in a dark jersey, preferably with an opening in the back to facilitate walking. The little back slit creates a subtle but sexy affect! If your figure permits, choose a fitted pencil skirt that hugs the body. Wearers beware! Footwear with this length is of utmost importance. Ditch the booties! Show your ankles! Wear high heels! And forget about nude pantyhose too; it kills the look! Opt for bare legs. Heels add a sexy element to your wardrobe but only if you can walk in them with ease and grace. Practice your walk before you venture out!

Elegance and sophistication are the key words to remember to maximize the charm and appeal of this new length.

Armani’s love for China and things Chinese can be seen in his spring/summer ‘Privé’ collection. ‘Pagode’ shoulders, high waists and longer skirt lengths were everywhere.

As for colors, blue, rose, orange and sand predominated.

Stella McCartney’s collection is elegant and simple. She used embroidered silk fabrics for tunics that can be worn over narrow pants. As can be seen below, she too emphasizes the shoulders not only in the cut but also with eye-catching detailing.

Chez Chanel, the classic black and white tweed suits are still as chic and feminine as ever. Karl Lagerfeld has designed matching handbags too and even created a leather version of the CC shopping bag! Check out Chanel's hosiery. Karl brought us very sexy hosiery last fall and continues to do so for spring and summer, by using two toned hose.

Jean Paul Gauthier showed a timeless collection. His favorite color for the coming season is sand, an easy color to adopt as long as you pick a light fluid fabric. Colored shoes look especially great with neutral colored clothing.

Isabel Marant is bringing back the denim blouson that can be worn over everything except jeans. Chez Cacharel is all about suppleness and fluidity. Celine is all about blues. She presented all her pieces with VERRRRRY high heels and showed many straight skirts that emphasized the waist. Like Celine, Aquascutum’s world is blue too.

John Galliano loves rose. Flash and dash are the operative words for Agnes B’s collection where lots of rose, green, yellow and turquoise were mixed up in the same element, making for a vibrant and cheerful look.

Accessories are a major category this season. The ‘must have’ shoes are impressive looking with straps. As for jewelry, it’s all about wearing bold pieces.

In the beauty department the best sellers are red lipsticks (my personal favorites) like this one from Dior’s ‘Rouge Dior Satin Collection’.

On Death Row: Harem pants, baby doll look, heavy clunky hardware on handbags and yes, very pointy shoes. Ouch! I still own one pair that I really like.

Shopping in your closet may be the smart way to go at the moment but be sure to keep your look updated. So don’t let the economic climate get you down. Be bold; be beautiful as you can be!

Michele

Michele Benza – Completely Confidential Image Consulting Featuring European Style and Elegance. (415-302-9366 | fax 415-388-6753 | + 210 Post Street, Suite 611 | San Francisco, CA 94108 | : michele@mbenza.com | http://www.michelebenza.com |

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You can now work with Michele on-line or face to face. Call or email for an appointment. You’ll be thrilled with the results.



If you know of someone who could benefit from this article, please pass it on.

BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Love yourself too!

Valentine’s Day is a great reminder for us to lavish love upon those whom we cherish. It is also a very good time to lavish love upon ourselves. Think about it. Being loved and cherished not only intensifies our sense of inner well-being but also radiates outwardly and enhances our beauty.

True beauty comes from within

As that old adage reminds us “Beauty is only skin deep.” We can make ourselves very attractive with clothing and accessories but true beauty comes from within. How many times have you seen someone who is not conventionally attractive but yet is perceived as beautiful because he or she radiates a sense of well-being and an inner knowing of their self-worth and purpose in the world? They are completely at ease with themselves and the world.

Get rid of the negative gremlins

It is vitally important that we take as good care of ourselves within as we do without. It is, of course, much easier to enhance our beauty externally than to really develop aspects of ourselves within that make us feel comfortable in our skin and accept our perceived physical flaws. Many of us have internal gremlins that are hell bent on eroding our confidence and self-esteem. We can counter those critical gremlins by learning to accept ourselves as we are--large hips and all! Of course it is important that we try to modify negative behavior patterns and take action to improve our physical well-being in any way we can. But always be realistic. Some of us simply don’t have a Julia Roberts smile. But a smile is a smile is a smile and can lift your spirits and those of others around you.

What you can do!

There are so many simple things you can do to improve your inner well-being. There are myriads of books and articles with great advice on how to achieve this but here are some of my quick and easy pointers:

• Breathe! Learn some simple breathing techniques that are calming and centering.
• Avoid negative thinking and people!
• Take time out to truly relax whether it is just being quiet listening to music or taking a stroll alone or with someone you love.
• Turn the lights low or light candles when you eat, take a long bath or shower.
• Choose a physical activity that resonates with your body whether it be Yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, hip-hop, pole, swing or ballroom dancing, roller blading or simply walking. Make time for whatever it is regularly. Once you develop the habit, you’ll find your body demands that you keep it!
• Meditate. If sitting still for any length of time is challenging, try an activity like Tai Chi that incorporates meditation with movement.
• Find ways to create harmony in your mind and in your life through a mind-body practice.
• Be grateful each day for whatever it is that is good in your life whether it be health, loving family and friends, a roof over your head, a comfy bed, a delicious meal, a beautiful sunny day.
• Be optimistic against all odds.
• Live in the moment.

Remember we all have the capacity to be beautiful, no matter our physical appearance.

A Happy and Loving Valentine’s Day to you all.

Michele